He's just not that into you....or maybe he is into you

"He's just not that into you".  After the book came out and then the movie, so many women have this perception that if a guy isn't knocking down your door, calling or texting you everyday, that he's not into you.  Women everywhere are reciting those words to their girlfriends and to themselves. in general, the girls aren't chasing the boys like they used to be. I see it with our speed dating events; most of the time the girls wait for the single guys to contact them.  

Not sure I believe in the "He's not that into you" theory exactly. Sometimes a guy needs a little persuasion girls...he doesn't always know what he wants. Every single guy is different and every situation is different.  Not every guy will be confident enough at the time or 100% ready to get into a serious relationship with someone. You don't know what they've been through in their past or are currently going through.  He could like you but not be ready for numerous reasons and not every guy falls in love with a girl right away.  Some need a little time and with a little perseverance, you may get your prince. By no means should you wait around for a guy that isn't treating you right though.  Only you know you someone makes you feel and if you're not on the same page and you can't handle it, then I would suggest getting out of dodge.  Don't waste time on someone that doesn't make you feel good.  It's more time wasted on the wrong person when you should be finding the right person. On the other hand, if you're dating other people in the meanwhile and don't mind playing it out to see where things lead then I say hang in there never know what can happen.  Girls grow on guys sometimes especially when the sex is good. 

I talked to many single guys about the "He's just not that into you" topic.  Some said they would chase the girl if they we were really interested in her and others were shy and said they would rather the girl they were interested in show interest in them.  Some that were serious about meeting someone said that if they were to show a girl too much interest she would get scared off; they feel the need to play it cool. My theory is "who cares", if you like a guy don't be afraid to show him that you're interested in him. If he reciprocates great, if he doesn't at all then move on.  Once he reciprocates though let him do a little chasing but do show an interest in him. Don't bombard him with texts and calls and act busy even if you're not.

So...if you like a guy show him your interested in him and then let him come to you...never be overly aggressive. If you see that he may be a little shy then make the first move and don't be scared some guys really like this.  Try different things, every single guy is not the same and one thing may work for you more than another.

Posted by Laura Bilotta of www.singleinthecity.ca and "Streeters" host of Dating 201 on Rogers. 

Comments

[Chris]

To cut a long story sideways, you really only need to call a guy once. If he's interested, he will call you back. If you're really concerned he didn't get the voice mail and didn't see the call display, well then sorry ladies... he just wasn't the one. Don't sweat it, the right guy will come along soon enough. Just be sure to leave your phone number in case he did accidentally flush his cell down the crapper.